Letting Go . . .

I think my fascination with long hair started when I was about 7 or 8years old.  My Mom insisted that I cut my hair.  I remember someone coming to the house to cut it.  When it was done my Mom took me outside in the garage to “shake the hair off”.  She made me take my shirt off to get the hair off and “shake it out”.  I remember feeling naked, scared and not sure of what just happened.  Then several weeks later while at a skating rink a boy approached me and asked the dreaded question.  “Are you a boy or a girl?”  From that moment forward I think I was destined to have long locks.  What I didn’t realize at the time was that the “long and short” of it all changed and transformed me.  So, Mom, maybe you have given me a gift of sorts with the desire to have long hair. 

Fast forward to present day.  Over the years I have grown my hair and cut it short at least 4 or 5 times.  That doesn’t seem like a lot, but when it takes about 4 to 5 years to grow your hair long enough to donate, it is a substantial chunk of a persons life.  I have donated my hair now 3 times.  And, if I had known about hair donation prior to that I am sure it would have been more.

I made the appointment to cut my hair a month ago.  I needed a date so that I could prepare, get ready.  I almost didn’t do it.  Two weeks ago I was ready to call it off.  Every time I looked in the mirror I saw my best hair ever.  I wasn’t sure if I could do it.  My hair had become my security blanket.  Maybe subconsciously I was pulled to my preteen days of not feeling feminine and not being pretty enough to “be a girl”.  If I cut it, would I look fat, old, and not as pretty?  I guess we all have hang-ups.  As I contemplated over those few weeks I was reminded of the real reason I was doing this.  It wasn’t really about me, was it?  It was about the gift that I would give.  To give something to someone that had been through something that I hoped I never would.  So, for all of you ladies out there, this is hair is for you. 

As a matter of fact, I am dedicating this donation to the Jens.  Jen Pagani and Jen Landon.  Jen Pagani has been fighting an aggressive form of breast cancer since 2007 and has persevered against the odds.  I have known Jen P. for many years and she is an amazing woman!  My friend Jen Landon was diagnosed in the past year and has been full of treatments and life changes.  She is a gentle and strong woman.  Both of these women inspire me to be a better person!  They live with thoughts about life that I can’t even fathom.  Thoughts that a wife, mother, sister, daughter would dread thinking.  Life is precious and these 2 women get that and live it!  It is because of them that I said, “Yes, I am doing this!”  This isn’t about me, it’s about them.  So, to the Jens and the many others that I know have been affected by breast cancer.  This donation is for you. 

More than likely this will be my last donation.  Long hair and getting gray don’t quite fit.  Not that I am gray now (Yes, that’s my true color at the age of 46), but I know that in the 4 years it will take me to grow it again I’m not sure it will be what they want.

Today, I cut 11 inches from my hair.  I told Swooz to make sure there was enough.  We even made 2 ponytails so I would have more to give.  I wanted to “feel the burn”.  Feel the change, the missing piece.  My friend Swooz did an amazing job!  After the cut I was lighter, freer, brighter and had tons of new perspective.  So, I am not only giving my hair, but I am vowing to myself to live a better life!  This is the catalyst to move more, find peace, love more, care about the important things, eat better , and be more creative …  Ok, cutting my hair won’t make all those things happen, but hopefully every time I look in the mirror I will be reminded of why it is short and it will encourage me to be the person I want to be!

So, today I am liberated, inspired and a whole lot lighter!

For more information on my inspirations check out:

Jen Pagani Caring Bridge:

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/gojengo

Swooz Hair and Makeup Salon

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Swooz-Hair-and-Makeup-Salon/203857056291436?fref=ts

And for a little music inspiration - check out the song "Let Go":

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/vicci/id534247042